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Weird Weekly || Christopher WALK.. [ahem] MALKen

There’s a cold front coming through Austin!!  Bust out those legwarmers, because tomorrow’s high temperature will reach a mild 93 degrees!  And for your weekend forecast, we’ll cap out at an intense 92 degrees for the high….


Let’s be real for a second.  This Texas Summer would #FAIL deplorably if going up against Texas Summers of previous years.  But we don’t care who you are, or where you come from….  92 degrees is #$%&*@! HOT!


SoOooOOoO… What are YOU doing to keep cool?!  Blah… Blah… Blah… Spare us the same old, predictable answers…. Barton Springs, Zilker and Lost Creek.  Don’t get us wrong, we regularly take part in all those festive outdoor activities too.  Because really, who doesn’t love sipping on an ice cold brew while lounging leisurely at Secret Beach (shhhhh!!)?  But maybe give that beer a rest next time you find yourself pining for a refreshing cool down while working on your perfect tan!


Ever tasted a Christopher MALKen?  Yes, you read that correctly… a MALKen.  Cheekily named after the infamous Christopher Walken, a Christopher MALKen is a clever take on the dangerously delicious White Russian cocktail, mixed with locally-made MALK.


Never heard of MALK?  Well clearly, you’ve been missing out.  To put it simply, MALK is an all natural, plant-based milk alternative… Pecan and Almond milks.  It’s delicious.  Try it with your pancakes, in your morning cereal or as a creamer in your iced coffee… Whatever suits your fancy.  And you can learn more about this sweet stuff by clicking HERE.

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Yes, here in Austin, in this realm of hipsters where almond milk is the law of the land… we get it… being healthy is EVERYTHING.  But for all intents and purposes, we’re going to throw this healthy sh*t in our booze!  What makes up a Christopher MALKen, you ask?  Equal parts of Vanilla MALK and Kahlua, mixed in with a shot of vodka and serve chilled over ice.


Rinse, repeat and sip until your little heart is content.  A fair warning to our fellow man however… Drink with care, because just two or three of these little suckers will have you crawling your way into bed.  But hey, we think they’re completely worth it.  You’ll never know what hit you!


So where can you get your hands on this MALK we speak of?!  We thought you’d never ask!!  Stop in at Buzz Mill in East Riverside and ask them politely to whip you up a Christopher MALKen.  If you tell them Live Weird Realty sent you, they’ll probably just shrug their shoulders before asking if it’ll be cash or credit; but rest assured, you won’t be sorry.


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If you’d rather pick up a bottle of MALK — which comes in 3 fabulous flavors — to enjoy in the confines of your own personal sanctuary… that’s cool too.  Pick some up at Rivercity Market!  And if both places happen to be fresh out of MALK when you arrive.. better luck next time… It’s THAT good.

Remember friends… Equal parts of Vanilla MALK and Kahlua, mixed in with a shot of vodka.  Serve chilled over ice!  Enjoy……

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